wikiHow

Some time ago, I noticed a link to the title "How to Balance Your Checkbook" at the bottom of iGoogle. This immediately grabbed my attention.

An aside... Not because I don't know how to balance my checkbook. If I've mastered one thing in my life, it's balancing my checkbook. Anyone who spends enough time around me knows that I'm fanatical about doing so, a point I'll attempt to explicate in just a moment.

So I clicked on the link and was pleasantly introduced to wikiHow, an online "How To" manual/wiki with a plethora of articles on topics ranging from "How to Pray" to "How to Grow Beans and Peas." What an awesome idea! (Not growing beans and peas, but the concept of putting all of this information in one place in this format, albeit some of it quite random and useless - depending on who's doing the reading and interpreting).

When I was in school, my eighth grade algebra teacher taught us how to balance a checkbook and complete a simple tax return form. At the time, I couldn't understand why we were breaking from the curriculum. As I got older I realized that she was doing us a favor by teaching us basic life skills through application. Ms. Wilson. Thank you. Those lessons have served me well, especially after getting divorced and having to manage my own finances without putting myself in the poor house by spending the same dollar twice (shoot, three times - hence, the reason I'm a fanatic about knowing what's in my bank account to the cent. There's nothing attractive about a 37 year old divorcee who sleeps under the bridge simply because she was too depressed or too ignorant to balance her checkbook or file her taxes properly.)

The next time you're sitting around your house and wonder to yourself how you're going to accept your Oscar or who gets to keep your dog Sam in the divorce, here's your source.

Respect to Brooklyn. Love to Scotland Neck. Peace to Atlanta.
BK

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What Single Women Want

This morning while doing my routine internet cruise, I stumbled across the title, "Demystifying the Single Woman." Since I'm a single woman now, I like to see how credible articles like this are. For the most part, many of us (but not all) can agree with this author.

Peace,

BK

Demystifying the Single Woman

Ever wonder what goes on inside the single woman's mind when it comes to dating? It's not as dark, mysterious, or scary as you might think. In fact, by getting to know what and how we think, you may just discover a thing or two that'll make trying to date us easier. Then again...

We’re not all about looks, so you shouldn't be either
While we appreciate the aesthetics of six-pack abs, bulging biceps, and a great butt, you don't have to have them for us to consider you a catch. But just as we're willing to accept your beer belly and/or back hair, you should accept us as we are. And even though we don't look like Angelina Jolie, when you compliment us on our curves, calves, or killer smile, we kinda feel like her. (Hint -- that would make you Brad Pitt, and most of us would do a whole lot to Brad in the bedroom. Bring on the compliments!)

We like it when you make the first move (but if you don't, we might)
We realize it's hard for a guy to know when to approach us, especially when we're out and about with our estrogen pack (or as we like to say, on a Girls' Night Out). But when we separate ourselves from the herd, make eye contact, and smile, we're giving you the go-ahead to approach. And if you don't respond? If we're feeling particularly confident and cute that night, we just might approach you. And when we do, give us a chance. After all, we're going out on a limb. If you're not interested, that's perfectly fine, but let us down gently. We can handle rejection, but we'd appreciate a certain level of respect when being rejected. (Thanks!)

You don't have to be a pickup artist to get our phone number
We know all about The Game, but did you know that you don't need to employ pickup artist tactics to get our phone number? In fact, it's pretty safe to say that by the time we graduate college, we're no longer looking for some guy who's got game. We're smart, driven, independent, and fun-loving individuals with brains who'd much rather hear your most genuine How are you? over How you doin'? any day. (Honest!)

Material things don't impress us
Unless you want to date a gold digger (and if so, good luck!), don't try to show off on a date by flaunting your material possessions. Expensive cars, bling accessories, and a pocket full of cash just don't impress us. We have our own money, our own homes, our own lives. If we're worth your time, we're not looking for someone to bankroll our lifestyle. Instead, what impresses us is kindness, consideration, and a sense of humor. Plus, when it comes to finances, we'd much rather date a guy who lives within his means and is planning for his future than someone who always has to have the latest gadget or ride but can't seem to pay off his credit card.

Other games we hate
We don't mind if you play video games recreationally, but if your Zelda obsession becomes 24/7, holds our living room hostage, or in any other way negatively affects our relationship with you, chances are good that we won't stick around for long. And if you do by some chance find a cute, smart, funny girl who's also a gamer? She may just be the Holy Grail. (Don't screw it up.)

Honesty really is the best policy
If you want to feel the wrath of the single woman, lie to her. But trust us -- you don't want to do that. In fact, to get on our good side all you need to do is be honest. If you're not going to call us, don't say that you are. If we ask if you're dating other people and you are, tell us. We're big girls who would much rather hear you tell us the truth -- even if it's not what we want to hear -- than be lied to and misled. (Besides, we just might be dating other people too.)

We don't all have marriage and babies on the brain
Yes, we sometimes over-analyze everything you say. And yes, there are usually three days a month that we're pretty bitchy. But believe it or not, we're not all wired with wedding bells on the brain. In fact, a lot of women actually enjoy being single. So contrary to what you might currently think, we don't spend our first dates picking out china patterns in our heads. We're actually paying attention to you, listening and getting to know you to decide if you're worthy of a second date. Go ahead, be worthy (or not). But most important, be yourself. That'll make our decision easier.

So there you have it. A glimpse inside the single woman's mind. Once you know what makes us tick, dating us is a snap. Or at least a little bit easier…

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Great New Blog!

I've added a link to a new blog written by my friend Hana. Check it out at Hana-Banana.com. Trust me. This girl has a gift for organizing spaces. She's a virgin blogger, but I'm familiar with her work first-hand, so I trust that she knows what she's talking about.

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A Tale of Two Men

Here's a tale of two men.

The first man talks a good game about his sexual exploits and for the most part, appears to back it up. But, I'm told that once he's done servicing his lover, he rolls over and falls fast asleep. And when he leaves her, there's a brief hug at the door and he's gone. No goodbyes. No callbacks. No e-mails. No strings. Nothing.

The second man also talks a good game. He backs it up to a degree, but not as well as the first guy. Still, once he's done servicing his lover, he doesn't roll over or fall asleep. He holds her in his arms and makes sure that she's warm. Throughout the remainder of their time together, he continues to pull her close. When he leaves, there's always an intimate kiss at the door. Always a goodbye. Always a call back. He says "no strings", but she knows there are.

For all intents and purposes, neither guy is trying to commit to any of his lovers. And both can be real jerks. But, while the first guy may be well-endowed and better at the mechanics, if left with no other choice, most women would rather spend time with the second guy.

My best friend and I were discussing this yesterday and agreed that the second guy just appears to behave more like most women think men should behave when dealing with a woman after sex. I haven't run into a woman yet, who appreciates a man rolling over and passing out. Or better yet... hanging on to the edge of the bed to make sure he doesn't touch her anymore. For her, when that happens, it's like, "what was the freakin' point?" A woman may deal with that a couple of times max. Then, she's more apt to tell the fool to lose her number. And he wonders why she's suddenly not available. Get a clue.

Be a player, if that's what you're gonna do. But, if you're gonna play the game, here's a tip. Hold her.. for a minute. And give her a kiss goodbye. Not a peck, but a soft, moist kiss. And it wouldn't kill you to call her back later that day. If none of this works for you, then keep it moving. I'm sure she will.

Peace,
BK

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Misplaced People

Tonight as I watched an old movie on television, one of the characters repeated the familiar adage, "Home is where your heart is." Yeah, I've heard this many times before, but tonight for some reason, it made think: I'm in the wrong place. My heart isn't here. It's somewhere else. And until I'm where my heart is, I'll never be home. That's probably true of a lot of people who feel misplaced. I know several people who are not lost... just misplaced.

So the solution seems simple. Determine where your heart is and go home, right? To borrow a phrase from my friend, "Uh huh." Easier said than done.

What happens when your home keeps moving around the world like the earth revolving around the sun? Or is on lease to someone else? Or you just can't find it anywhere? I guess if any of these hold true, you just have to be patient and wait. I believe with everything I am, that the heart, one that truly belongs to you, does settle, exists in freedom and reveals itself in time. And when it does, home is interminable and the best place you can be.

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Unforgettable

What foolish heart believes
in moments undefined
lines and curves unbalanced
hope stretched wide

I said he was unbelievable. He said I was unforgettable. How does one respond to that?

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Heart Keys

"She moved me." That's how my friend described a woman he's interested in. And not just her looks, though she's pretty, but everything about her presence moves him. He asked if anyone had ever moved me like that. I told him maybe. I'm moved less by a person's looks, more by their words. When I read, "i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) " or "nothing amazing happens here", I am moved... almost to tears.

Once a long time ago, I was in a meeting and my boss really pissed me off by attempting to publicly humiliate me in front of the entire staff. My facial expression and body language could be read by anyone in the room. As I was leaving when the meeting was over, one of my co-workers stopped me and said "are you alright?" The concerned look in his eyes, his gentle touch on my arm and those three words moved me.

The keys to my heart - words, spoken and unspoken, written and unwritten that help reveal mysteries about myself, others and the world. Simple words that when put together form miracles of hope, understanding, passion, compassion, sometimes even love. I cherish, remember and hold onto those which have been spoken and written. I wait patiently and expectantly for those that remain unspoken and unwritten.

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