Going Home

So, my friend Cole says that I need to do some blogging and he's right. I've been in and out of town during the past two weeks, so my spare time has been spent mostly packing and unpacking my bags, doing laundry and resting up from the long road trips.

My parents live in North Carolina in a small town called Scotland Neck. Yeah, I'm sure you've heard of it. It's between nowhere and nowhere. Every year, my family gets together-- parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and kids--at my grandmother's house in Dawson (even smaller town... more like a road) to celebrate Christmas. I'm not there every year, but I make it when I can. Although my grandmother passed last year, the family tradition continues.

When I turned 18, I couldn't get out of that town quick enough. A native of Brooklyn, NY (my aunt likes to remind me from time to time that NC is not really home for me), I lived in Scotland Neck for 12 years. I detested it because most of my family was still in NY. There wasn't enough to do and it was too damn quiet. I longed for the sirens of fire trucks, ambulances, and police cars, for the sounds of the subway passing over the tracks, for the horn honking of irate and frustrated drivers stuck in city traffic. That was the soundtrack of my life for the first six and a half years. Then came life in a small town where everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) knows your name and your business.

It's only now since I've been away from there for 16 years that I can appreciate that life. I'm not ready to pack my bags today and move back although I won't rule it out for retirement. But, going back reminds me of a few things that I don't have living in the city again (Atlanta). Things like open roads, fresh air, quiet time, clear night skies with twinkling stars. Going back also reminds me of a time before I knew what the world was really like, when I still believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, when I learned about God. More than anything, going back reminds me about falling in love and innocence.

Yeah, small towns are good for something. And Scotland Neck is home.

Love to home.

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Bag Lady

Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you

Erykah Badu

My co-worker calls me the bag lady. And it's funny because he's so right. I always carry at least two bags--my purse and a workbag. Today, I had four bags--my purse, a workbag, my lunch bag, and another bag to carry a large box of software. Do I really need all this stuff I lug to and from work everyday? Probably not. I'm not into making new years' resolutions, but I'll make this one (with my new year beginning tomorrow... who am I kidding? more like next week). I'm going to stop carrying around so much damn baggage. And if carrying less bags physically will somehow translate into carrying less bags emotionally, then I'm all for it.

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Rainy Day in Georgia

Another rainy day in Georgia. And this morning I felt like it was raining in my life. I was kinda down. Mostly because I felt pulled in too many opposing directions, which is my fault for over-committing myself. What's that saying, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Believe me, I've been on that road and not only can you feel the heat emanating as you near hell's fire, but you can also hear the screams of others who have gone before you. What I know for sure--people will take as much as you're willing to give. I need to start saving as much of myself as I need for myself... to feel happy... to feel fulfilled... to not feel used up.

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Here's to a Break

Last night I had my last class for the semester. BTW, I'm a graduate student at a university here in town. I only took one course this semester because with my 40 hour+ work week, it's about all I could handle. Anyway, I wanted to jump up and click my heels in mid-air after class last night (something I could never do but looks quite fun when I see my co-worker do it whenever the mood strikes him).

Now I can exhale. My plans while I'm on winter break are to focus on cleaning up my living space and doing some other important activities (like going to church, blogging and working on my novel). I'm also planning to go up to North Carolina and spend some time with my family the week before Christmas.

It feels good to get a break from the reading and the assignments.

Oh well, this is my last entry for the month. I'm thinking about all of the things I wanted to write about, but never found the time like Bad Hair Days and 13 yr. old daughters and the crazy men in my life. Just wait. Next month promises to be better. I'll have a little more time to play.

Raise your glasses everyone. Brooklyn's back on the playground.

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